Day 12 - Loving with Gratitude

Today is day 12 of my 21-day meditation experience and let me tell you this is not getting easier. Today’s meditation was themed “Loving with Gratitude.” It was about divine love, the spiritual grace that supports everyone and everything and this was a challenging topic for me in regards to human love.

My Bio-Energy Analysis mentor taught me that we have two choices—love and fear. I can’t have both at the same time. I either choose love or fear. One or the other. Love, from a place of gratitude, can erase fear and with love, I can overcome fear, anger, and rejection. This is really about connecting with the truest expression of myself. My life experiences have shaped me into who I am today. Loving fearlessly through gratitude is one of the hardest things for me to do ...

In every wisdom tradition, grace is connected to divine love and it is something we can have even if we feel we don’t deserve it. Grace isn’t necessarily a choice, but love is. I can choose whether I give a little or a lot of love. I limit the amount of love I express to humans because humans have caused me more pain and rejection than any horse or animals. There is nothing more awful than allowing yourself to be vulnerable and love someone only to find that love is not reciprocated. However, the pain from my past does not stop me from giving and receiving love with horses. The more love I give to the horses the more I become who I am really am and my heart is gladdened. Gratitude assists in love through the removal of my ego … but I am not always successful.

At this time in my life, the only way I feel supported by divine love and grace is through animals. My horses are a huge support system, but I also have some amazing felines in my life. Horses are amazing creatures, however, when you have a cat or dog that lives in your house and shares a bed with you, it changes the dynamic. For me, there are few things more gratifying than a snuggly, purring puddy cat on my lap.
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Active steps I take towards gratitude that are helping me overcome my inner obstacles and resistance to divine love with humans is learning the art of forgiveness. It is not easy for me. I know how to forgive and keep it in the past. I have yet to accomplish it in the present. I feel like if someone hurts or wrongs me over and over then I just have to do my forgiveness process over and over. It is emotionally exhausting. Thank goodness for the animals that rejuvenate me! I know as I continue to practice forgiveness (over and over) and keep practicing gratitude and receiving grace, one day the hurt and pain will stay away and I will be able to experience divine love on a whole different level. Today, that’s all I can do but practice makes perfect, right?

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