![]() When I feel gratitude at the moment, I can cultivate a sense of acceptance and openness as is. I know that by dissolving differences it allows an opening to a way of deeper connection alignment and energy. That is true love and grace manifested. Heartfelt gratitude enables bonds to flourish and connect with what truly matters. Gratitude can bring us together. But first, we have to be open to it ... I imagine gratitude is magical—it has the ability to dissolve resentment and remove obstacles. But, it comes down to have a fulfilling relationship and you have to be able to relate to each other. I have learned that what I give and receive is the life of my relationships. Giving is most powerful at the emotional level. I believe the horses are thankful I am in their life and I am thankful they are in my world. World traditions teach that the giver benefits as much as the receiver—I experience this every day I am with horses. I know this is supposed to soothe the heart and allows relationships to flourish, but sometimes I only experience it with horses. However, it is taught that we cannot achieve this without expanded awareness aka. gratitude. My true self knows that grace can accomplish what the ego cannot. My ego self isn’t always ready for it. I am learning to be grateful for the here and now and not the delusion of an old dream. The real potential is ready to be awakened when I allow gratitude and form a bond that allows two to become one. I totally get this from my relationships and bonds with horses. I am learning that grace can keep the flow open even when I am anxious and doubt the perfection of any relationship. I know my real potential is waiting to be awakened. However ... I am not going to lie, today’s meditation was a challenge. Perhaps life got in the way, a tax appointment, distractions, and just not enough hours in the day. But as I follow through on my commitment at the eleventh hour, I realize that today’s theme is probably not a coincidence after what I wrote yesterday. If gratitude expands every relationship, then why do I have a hard time finding gratitude in the ex-relationship I spoke of yesterday? Words are hurtful and you can’t take them back. It’s like putting toothpaste back in the tube … it does not work. Love is nothing without action. Trust is nothing without proof, and sorry is nothing without change. My current emotional state does not allow me to feel the good qualities I once thought I knew of this person. The qualities that used to make me feel good. I have no idea if it would be possible or how it would be possible to feel what I used to feel, but what I know for sure is this, “Right now, at this exact moment in time, horses are the only thing that makes me feel good. That and a cuddly, purring puddy cat sitting in my lap. That is my current present moment and the present moment is all that matters and for that I am grateful.
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September 2020
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